Love Your Kids

 It is important for parents to guide their children as they learn to become increasingly more independent instead of dragging them behind with a strict and sheltered course. It is not God's will for us, His children to be forced to do anything. We are free to choose, and so should we allow our children that agency. Parents may expect their children to become a certain way, master a certain skill or choose a certain career. However, that is not a parent's role. Parents must lead and guide their children as they gradually receive more freedom until they can become a responsible adult. Some parents try to shelter their children from any possibility of making a mistake. For example, parents may not allow their teen to have a phone in fear that they might become addicted to pornography. I believe that if a child wants to view pornography, they will find a way and there is nothing a parent can do to force them not to. The proper way to prevent such behaviors is to motivate them othe...

 The second step is to understand your child.  Children need love and understanding from their parents. They long to be respected and treated like their feelings are important. Genuinely striving to understand your children is crucial to your relationship with them.  My suggestion is to acknowledge their emotions. Teach children that feeling upset is ok and feeling frustrated is normal. By helping them first understand that, you may help them learn how to control their actions and do so in love. If your three year old child is throwing a tantrum because they cannot have ice cream for dinner. Try approaching them like so, "Its not fair that you can't have ice cream for dinner, is it? I understand how that can be frustrating to you. Sometimes I feel the same way. I wish I could eat more chocolate without getting a headache." Now, the child might feel like being more open with you and as they calm down, you may begin teaching them that it is not acceptable to throw a tant...

 The first step of the NEPEM model is to take care of yourself.  In an airplane, they instruct parents that if there is an emergency, to make sure they have oxygen before helping their children or anyone else with the mask. If you are not taken care of, you may not be able to take care of anyone else. Similarly, before teaching, motivating, or disciplining your child, it is important for you to be in a calm, clear and confident state of mind. Otherwise, it may result in acting out in anger towards your child, and not being able to fulfill the other steps in the NEPEM model. Those include, understanding, guiding, nurturing, motivating, developing, and finally, advocating. They are best accomplished in that order. To accomplish this, you may need to take a five minute break to calm down before approaching your screaming child. You may even tell your child how they are making you feel in a polite and mature way. You might have to talk to your spouse about handling a certain issue...