Taking Care of Yourself First

 The first step of the NEPEM model is to take care of yourself.

 In an airplane, they instruct parents that if there is an emergency, to make sure they have oxygen before helping their children or anyone else with the mask. If you are not taken care of, you may not be able to take care of anyone else. Similarly, before teaching, motivating, or disciplining your child, it is important for you to be in a calm, clear and confident state of mind. Otherwise, it may result in acting out in anger towards your child, and not being able to fulfill the other steps in the NEPEM model. Those include, understanding, guiding, nurturing, motivating, developing, and finally, advocating. They are best accomplished in that order.

To accomplish this, you may need to take a five minute break to calm down before approaching your screaming child. You may even tell your child how they are making you feel in a polite and mature way. You might have to talk to your spouse about handling a certain issue if you are feeling to emotional to deal with it.